When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.

Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

Are you worried that, when you go to hell, you'll only be taking the local and not be on the express? Why would you look for a loophole to deny coverage to children with preexisting conditions?

My friend Bill O’Reilly is completely full of sh*t.

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.