Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.

I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, "I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness."

Apparently the only time the press gets it right is when the White House illegally leaks it to them.

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is Nirvana, nothing is perfect.

I'm not a very serious Jew. I don't wear the protective religious headgear. They only wear that because 40% of all religious thoughts escape through the head.

I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.

What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?