We grew up in the good old days before kids had these damn computers and actually played outside.
Jon StewartThey create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're sort of amused, but most of the time you're thinking, pick up the ball! That's what you're thinking.
Jon StewartI really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.
Jon StewartI thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon StewartAcross the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners, and behind the hedges, waiting for their inoculations. Here's another idea for avoiding the flu: DON'T stand outside in the cold for hours around lots of other people.
Jon Stewart