Here's what I realized about the yam - it's the same colour as a Nerf ball. You may be wondering: 'Is he saying he ate a Nerf ball?'.

Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.

The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come."

As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.

Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence.