We have standards. Anybody with the kind of journalism experience and professionalism that you have displayed over these years can not work for my program.

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again.

It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.

We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.