Technology. It's like science, only useless.

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.

Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?

(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. In fact, our government has decided that if al Qaeda attempts to disrupt our democratic process, we are going to respond by disrupting it first.

Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.