Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.

People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.

Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?

Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.

Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.

[When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child.

We could overcome the baser aspects of our nature... and give this planet the kind of caretakers it deserves.