Apparently the only thing worse than a terrorist attack, is a gay man stopping it!

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.

I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.

What I like to do is come in, write the entire program and treat my staff to hot stone massages.

The nation of Dubai banned the movie Charlie's Angles because it's "offensive to the religion of Islam." Apparently, the religion of Islam is offended by anything without a plot.

Every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly, and life gets better in an instant.