Looking back, my whole life seems so surreal. I didn't just turn up on the doorstep playing rugby, I had to go through a whole lot of things to get there.

I have a stab wound on my left hip and one on my thigh and a slash mark across my right calf. I have a bottle stab wound on my left calf.

I thought about dying whenever I got bad news about other people.

When I was playing I felt tired all the time. My recovery period was a lot longer than the other players. They'd be ok after an hour - I'd have to stay in bed till the next session.

For me to get through the toughest periods in my life, I had to look within to find the energy to do it. I don't give up. Never have. Never will.

Looking back, my whole life seems so surreal. I didn't just turn up on the doorstep playing rugby, I had to go through a whole lot of things to get there.

The biggest thing for me is just to get out on that field. Just to do that will be incredible.