You know people don't get better as we get older- we just get more of who we are.

Some people are like blue jeans- the older and more beat up they get, the better they look.

I feel like a cliche.

In Poland, my audience is all women between 18 and 30. At U.S. conventions, you have the fantasy and science fiction crowd. At Harvard you have an entirely different audience. It's so schizophrenic.

Your boyfriend had a dream about potatoes and you're asking me to interpret it? I'm just old. Being old doesn't mean you know more; it means you ate enough fiber.

Most men, no matter how well or badly dressed, carry overstuffed, beat up wallets that should have been replaced years ago. Why is that? Every time I see a guy take out a wallet anywhere, it looks like a piece of old melted chocolate cake-with strings.

I forgive nothing. If you stole my orange crayon in the fifth grade, you're still on my hit list, buddy.