Lying is too much trouble. You have to make sure to taste each word before letting it off your tongue. I hate that. It's hard enough making people understand without lying.

Your boyfriend had a dream about potatoes and you're asking me to interpret it? I'm just old. Being old doesn't mean you know more; it means you ate enough fiber.

Most men think they are good drivers. Most women think they are good in bed. They aren't.

Learn to wait; invariably either things will change or your heart will.

Everyone coming out of a perfume store is smelling the back of their hand.

Why do people always gesture with their hands when they talk on the phone?

If it was as logical as that, I wouldn't continue to feel as bad as I do. I know what you're saying, and you're absolutely right in a way. But logic and rationality only go so far. Then you know what happens? Ha! Then your heart adds its two cents and everything reasonable goes right-out-the-window.