If you get something for nothing, part of you may be pleased, but part of you moves your hand to give something back.
Jonathan HaidtThe psychological origins of love are in attachment to parents and sexual partners. We do not attach to ourselves; we do not seek security and fulfillment in ourselves.
Jonathan HaidtThe social intuitionist model offers an explanation of why moral and political arguments are so frustrating: because moral reasons are the tail wagged by the intuitive dog. A dogโs tail wags to communicate. You canโt make a dog happy by forcibly wagging its tail. And you canโt change peopleโs minds by utterly refuting their arguments.
Jonathan HaidtBut the most important lesson I have learned in my twenty years or research on morality is that nearly all people are morally motivated. Selfishness is a powerful force, particularly in the decisions of individuals, but whenever groups of people come together to make a sustained effort to change the world, you can bet that they are pursuing a vision of virtue, justice, or sacredness.
Jonathan HaidtIf you are in passionate love and want to celebrate your passion, read poetry. If your ardor has calmed and you want to understand your evolving relationship, read psychology. But if you have just ended a relationship and would like to believe you are better off without love, read philosophy.
Jonathan Haidt