Few are qualified to shine in company, but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.

There is no vice or folly that requires so much nicety and skill to manage as vanity; nor any which by ill management makes so contemptible a figure.

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver's watch may be his god, because it is that which, he admits, he seldom does anything without consulting.

Ale is meat, drink and cloth; it will make a cat speak and a wise man dumb.

Exploding many things under the name of trifles is a very false proof either of wisdom or magnanimity, and a great check to virtuous actions with regard to fame.

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.