I was talking to a businessman, and I said, Don't you think most men are little boys? And he said, I'm no little boy! I make seventy-five thousand dollars a year. And I said, Well, the way I look at it - you just have bigger toys.

Well, the most terrible fear that anybody should have is not war, is not a disease, not cancer or heart problems or food poisoning - it's a man or a woman without a sense of humor.

You've got to be an observer. And you've got to take time to listen to people, talk, to watch what they do.

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.

God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.

When you wear so many hats in society, you never know who you are. That's the beauty of it. Because once you find out who you are, you're screwed.

I know you can be funny without being filthy.