God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.

I have a photographic memory; I just haven't developed it yet.

I began painting well before I started doing comedy. In fact, when I came out of the war in 1946, I enrolled in art school in Dayton, Ohio. I painted for three years, and then show business took hold.

Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.

I may not be playing with a full deck but I don't need a full deck. I have four aces.

I was talking to a businessman, and I said, Don't you think most men are little boys? And he said, I'm no little boy! I make seventy-five thousand dollars a year. And I said, Well, the way I look at it - you just have bigger toys.

I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.