Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is…ummm…private. Private, Steven? Yes, Miss Palma. PRIVATE Steven? Again with the capital letters?

You can be our critic. Would you dig that? (Yes, he was the last Man in America who could say “dig” with a straight face without referring to the process of using a tool to remove dirt from the ground.)

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.

Annette had kissed me. Who would’a thunk it?

You look like a handsome young man…although you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?