Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is…ummm…private. Private, Steven? Yes, Miss Palma. PRIVATE Steven? Again with the capital letters?

It was a cheesy cheeseball, covered with Cheez Whiz and served on a bed of Cheez-Its. With a side of queso.

I dove on those papers like Sherlock Holmes on a cappuccino binge.

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

(Yes teenage boys who are fine always cry on their mothers’ shoulders until they leave a snot trail.)

Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is…ummm…private. Private, Steven? Yes, Miss Palma. PRIVATE Steven? Again with the capital letters?