Rumor is like bees; the more you fight them the more you don't get rid of them.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion.

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.