Gratitude can sometimes be as annoying as whininess.
Sunrises and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.
Crime is for poor people. You don't need to rob the bank if you own it.
You don't have to be a genius when you're surrounded by morons.
It doesn't pay to be good at something unless you are the absolute best at it.
It's interesting, on your second day of existence, to realize that your father is going to blame all the future failures of his life on you.