Nowadays I'm really cranky about comics. Because most of them are just really, really poorly written soft-core. And I miss good old storytelling. And you know what else I miss? Super powers. Why is it now that everybody's like "I can reverse the polarity of your ions!" Like in one big flash everybody's Doctor Strange. I like the guys that can stick to walls and change into sand and stuff. I don't understand anything anymore. And all the girls are wearing nothing, and they all look like they have implants. Well, I sound like a very old man, and a cranky one, but it's true.

TV's like whitewater rafting: Without rocks, there wouldn't be rapids, and it wouldn't be as much fun.

This landing is gonna get pretty interesting. Define "interesting". "Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die"? [on speakerphone]: This is the captain: we have a little problem with our entry sequence so we may experience some slight turbulence, then explode.

What's plan b?' 'We all die now.' 'What's plan c?

I also don't trust Caribou anymore. They're out there, on the tundra, waiting... Something's going down. I'm right about this.

If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock.

Time for some thrillin' heroics.