Perhaps the greatest rudenesses of our time come not from the callousness of strangers, but from the solicitousness of intimates who believe that their frank criticisms are always welcome, and who feel free to "be themselves" with those they love, which turns out to mean being their worst selves, while saving their best behavior for strangers.

Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers 'friendly reminders,' it really means business.

Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness.

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

Many people mistakenly think a new technology cancels out an old one.

Screening telephone calls with a receptionist or the humbler answering machine is not a dishonorable thing to do. The warmest people in the world still need uninterrupted time to attend to their lives and should not be outwitted if they have made it obvious that they are not always available upon summons.

A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable.