Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can't I?

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role.

[On daughter Liza Minnelli] I think she decided to go into show business when she was an embryo, she kicked so much.

To let a fool kiss you is bad...To let a kiss fool you is worse. 'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.

When you have lived the life I've lived, when you've loved and suffered, and been madly happy and desperately sad -- well, that's when you realize you'll never be able to set it all down. Maybe you'd rather die first.

Hollywood is a strange place if you're in trouble. Everybody thinks it's contagious.