Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.
Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.
My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.
If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car
The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.
We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.