You would think, wouldnโt you, that if you were the child of a happy marriage, then you ought to have a better than average marriage yourself โ either through some genetic inheritance or because youโd learnt from example? But it doesnโt seem to work like that. So perhaps you need the opposite example โ to see mistakes in order not to make them yourself. Except this would mean that the best way for parents to ensure their children have happy marriages would be to have unhappy ones themselves. So whatโs the answer?
Julian BarnesWHORES. Necessary in the nineteenth century for the contraction of syphilis, without which no one could claim genius.
Julian BarnesIn my terms, I settled for the realities of life, and submitted to its necessities: if this, then that, and so the years passed. In Adrian's terms, I gave up on life, gave up on examining it, took it as it came. And so, for the first time, I began to feel a more general remorse - a feeling somewhere between self-pity and self-hatred - about my whole life. All of it. I had lost the friends of my youth. I had lost the love of my wife. I had abandoned the ambitions I had entertained. I had wanted life not to bother me too much, and had succeeded - and how pitiful that was.
Julian Barnes(on grief) And you do come out of it, thatโs true. After a year, after five. But you donโt come out of it like a train coming out of a tunnel, bursting through the downs into sunshine and that swift, rattling descent to the Channel; you come out of it as a gull comes out of an oil-slick. You are tarred and feathered for life.
Julian Barnes