The difference between camels and men; a camel can work a week and not drink; a man can drink a week and not work.

A pessimist says all women are loose. An optimist does not, but he has hopes.

Success--something your friends will never forgive you.

Tragedy--to fall in love with a face, and marry the whole woman.

Egoist is someone who cares more for himself than me.

Conscience: that quiet voice which whispers that someone is watching.

Fidelity--a strong itch with a prohibition to scratch.