How does he do it? Live. With the fear of death every day. I don't fear death as much as I fear the thought of living.

I close my eyes and black out the day. The exhaustion of living through it, surviving.

Would I cheat to save my soul? No. But to save my G.P.A.? Yes.

At times like this, I'm thankful I don't feel love.

I wish I could tell my parents, " If you want to help me, help me die.

Is that all I am? A friend?" "Of course not," I say. "I love you." "Am I the only one?" she asks. "Yes. Completely." First, last, and always.

You can't trust machines. You can't trust people.