Karen Horney Quotes

It would not be going too far to assert that ... conflict confronts every woman who ventures upon a career of her own and who is ... unwilling to pay for her daring with the renunciation of her femininity.

Like all sciences and all valuations, the psychology of women has hitherto been considered only from the point of view of men.

To experience conflicts knowingly, though it may be distressing, can be an invaluable asset. The more we face our own conflicts and seek out our own solutions, the more inner freedom and strength we will gain. Only when we are willing to bear the brunt can we approximate the ideal of being the captain of our ship. Spurious tranquillity rooted in inner dullness is anything but enviable. It is bound to make us weak and an easy prey to any kind of influence.

The view that women are infantile and emotional creatures, and as such, incapable of responsibility and independence is the work of the masculine tendency to lower women's self-respect.

If I couldn't be pretty, I decided I would be smart.

Through the eclipse of large areas of the self, by repression and inhibition as well as by idealization and externalization, the individual loses sight of himself; he feels, if he does not actually become, like a shadow without weight and substance.

Life as a therapist is ruthless; circumstances that are helpful to one neurotic may crush another.

That many-faceted thing called love succeeds in building bridges from the loneliness on this shore to the loneliness on the other one. These bridges can be of great beauty, but they are rarely built for eternity, and frequently they cannot tolerate too heavy a burden without collapsing.

To find a mountain path all by oneself gives a greater feeling of strength than to take a path that is shown.

Is not the tremendous strength in men of the impulse to creative work in every field precisely due to their feeling of playing a relatively small part in the creation of living beings, which constantly impels them to an overcompensation in achievement?

The conception of what is normal varies not only with the culture but also within the same culture, in the course of time.

Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

Let me say to begin with: It is not neurotic to have conflict ... Conflicts within ourselves are an integral part of human life.

There is no such thing as a normal psychology that holds for all people.

Basic anxiety can be roughly described as a feeling of being small, insignificant, helpless, deserted or endangered in a world that is out to abuse, cheat, humiliate, betray, envy... . And special in this is the child's feeling that the parents' love, their Christian charity, honesty, generosity ... may be only a pretense.

The perfect normal person is rare in our civilization.

miracles occur in psychoanalysis as seldom as anywhere else.

There is no good reason why we should not develop and change until the last day we live.

Because it corresponds to a vital need, love is overvalued in our culture. It becomes a phantom - like success - carrying with it the illusion that it is a solution for all problems.

We may feel genuinely concerned about world conditions, though such a concern should drive us into action and not into a depression.

Rationalization may be defined as self-deception by reasoning.

To search for truth about self is as valuable as to search for truth in other areas of life.

a normal human being ... does not exist.

Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

There's still such chaos in me. Still so little firmly outlined. Just like my face: a formless mass that only takes on shape through the expression of the moment. The searching for our selves is the most agonizing

[Neurotics are] torn by inner conflicts ... Every neurotic ... is at war with himself.

the idea of a finished human product not only appears presumptuous but even, in my opinion, lacks any strong appeal. Life is struggle and striving, development and growth - and analysis is one of the means that can help in this process. Certainly its positive accomplishments are important, but also the striving itself is of intrinsic value.

No one … can entirely step out of his time, that despite his keenness of vision his thinking is in many ways bound to be influenced by the mentality of his time

The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving for wholeheartedness: to be without pretense, to be emotionally sincere, to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's feelings, one's work, one's beliefs.

If you want to be proud of yourself, then do things in which you can take pride