A good writer does not receive anywhere near the number of poison-pen letters that is commonly assumed. Among a hundred jackassesthere are not ten who will admit to being jackasses, and at most one who will put it in writing.

To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all.

A philistine is habitually bored and looks for things that won't bore him. An artist finds things boring, but is never bored.

One's need for loneliness is not satisfied if one sits at a table alone. There must be empty chairs as well.

A healthy man is content with a woman. An erotic man is content with a stocking to get to a woman. A sick man is content with thestocking.

A father's pride, laid on thick, has always made me wish that the fellow had at least experienced some pain during procreation.

Lord, forgive them, for they know what they do!