A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.

I master only the language of others. Mine does with me what it wants.

Nothing is more horrible than my self in the mirror of hysteria. Nothing is more vulgar than my style in the hands of another. Toimitate me is to punish me.

An artist should make concessions to the listener. That is why Bruckner dedicated one of his symphonies to the Good Lord.

The triumph of morality: A thief who has broken into a bedroom claims his sense of shame had been outraged, and by threatening theoccupants with exposure of an immoral act he blackmails them into not bringing charges for burglary.

A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants.

A father's pride, laid on thick, has always made me wish that the fellow had at least experienced some pain during procreation.