War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.

Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence.

The esthete stands in the same relation to beauty as the pornographer stands to love, and the politician stands to life.

Prussia: freedom of movement with a muzzle. Austria: an isolation cell in which screaming is allowed.

I saw a poet chase a butterfly in a meadow. He put his net on a bench where a boy sat reading a book. It's a misfortune that it is usually the other way round.

A philistine is habitually bored and looks for things that won't bore him. An artist finds things boring, but is never bored.

I don't like to meddle in my private affairs.