War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.

A journalist is stimulated by a deadline. He writes worse when he has time

The development of technology will leave only one problem: the infirmity of human nature.

The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.

It is the style of idealism to console itself for the loss of something old with the ability to gape at something new.

Sex education is legitimate in that girls cannot be taught soon enough how children don't come into the world.

The difference between psychiatrists and other mentally disturbed people is something like the relationship between concave and convex madness.