There is a cultural taste which tries very hard to get rid of the lice in a fur coat. There is another which tolerates the lice and thinks the coat can be worn with them in it. And finally there is a taste which regards the lice as the most important thing about the coat and consequently places the coat at the lice's disposal.

War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.

There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything.

I and life: The case was settled chivalrously. The opponents parted without having made up.

A great deal of learning can be packed into an empty head.

Medicine: "Your money and your life!