A white lie is always pardonable. But he who tells the truth without compulsion merits no leniency.

What torture, this life in society! Often someone is obliging enough to offer me a light, and in order to oblige him I have to fish a cigarette out of my pocket.

A great deal of learning can be packed into an empty head.

War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.

Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others, sex laws.

In a well-run mental household there ought to be a thorough cleaning at the threshold of consciousness a few times a year.

Curses on the law! Most of my fellow citizens are the sorry consequences of uncommitted abortions.