A good stylist should have narcissistic enjoyment as he works. He must be able to objectivize his work to such an extent that he catches himself feeling envious and has to jog his memory to find that he is himself the creator. In short, he must display that highest degree of objectivity which the world calls vanity.

The blind won't admit that I have eyes in my head, and the deaf say that I'm dumb.

One of the most widespread diseases is diagnosis.

One can translate an editorial but not a poem. For one can go across the border naked but not without one's skin; for, unlike clothes, one cannot get a new skin.

Social reform is the desperate decision to remove corns from a person suffering from cancer.

It is not true that one cannot live without a woman. It is simply that one cannot have lived without one.

Religion, morality, and patriotism are feelings that are manifested only when they are outraged.