I master only the language of others. Mine does with me what it wants.

Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.

A bibliophile has approximately the same relationship to literature as a philatelist to geography.

I can say with pride that I have spent days and nights not reading anything, and that with unflagging energy I use every moment toacquire gradually an encyclopedic lack of education.

Hate must make a man productive. Otherwise one might as well love.

A father's pride, laid on thick, has always made me wish that the fellow had at least experienced some pain during procreation.

To be human is erroneous.