Of all sports, football seems to be the most sanctioned homosocial opportunity for straight men to be with each other, pat butts, struggle, strive, and take showers together. All that talk of tight ends and penetration. The reason there are face masks on those helmets is so that can't kiss each other.

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.

[On being lesbian:] One pointer: don't come out to your dad in a moving vehicle.

My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.

When women go off together we call it separatism. When men go off together we call it Congress.

[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.

Teaching is performance art.