I was born in a place humans call central Africa, in a dense rain forest so beautiful, no crayons could ever do it justice.

Human can surprise you sometimes. An unpredictable species, Homo sapiens

Battles that involve oatmeal are just never going to end up being historic, you know?" Jake went on. "Gettysburg? No major oatmeal involvement. The Battle of Midway? Neither side used oatmeal. Desert Storm? No oatmeal.

But hunger, like food, comes in many shapes and colors.

They think I'm too old to cause trouble. Old age is a powerful disguise.

I like colorful tales with black beginnings and stormy middles and cloudless blue-sky endings. But any story will do.

Death's gruesome face taunts: soulless eyes, crimson grimace. I really hate clowns.