You do not know me, but I am a juvenile delinquent. I do not trust authority figures, I probably will not graduate from high school, and statistics say my present rowdiness and vandalism will likely lead to more serious crimes. I am a dangerous fellow, and I am causing mayhem in this store. [...] There. I have now shamelessly destroyed the symmetry of this shelf, undoing hours of labor by underpaid store employees. If you could see me, you would be frightened.

Everyone deserves a shot....and some deserve to be shot.

Tobias asked. "Weird? Weird?" Marco crowed. "The talking bird wants to know if getting information on the location of an alien from a whale, that you've just saved from sharks, by turning into dolphins . . . You're suggesting that's weird?

I just want to get on a table, dance on someone's tater tots, and wait for the hall monitor to drag me away

They think I'm too old to cause trouble. Old age is a powerful disguise.

It's OAT-freaking-MEAL!

With enough time, you can get used to almost anything.