Invisibility is the only thing that fame cost me. I used to be able to go places and blend in. Anonymity is something you lose on this side of things.

I can remember thinking, at the age of 3, that I invented the concept of lying. By a brilliant thought process, I figured that I could fib and avoid the repercussions for something I had done, because lying meant that it never happened. However, by the time I was 5, I came to hate lying and to think of it as the worst thing in the world. That's my earliest memory. Weird, but true!

A woman gets stretch marks from one of two things. Either she was big and got small or she was small and got big.

Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try it if it doest work call me back we'll figure this thing out.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

I think pimp, therefore i am.