I shouldn't have to ask for your permission for me to put you in my lie!
Comedy's about opening up and being unique, but to a point where the audience can relate to what you're saying.
When you're coming up with new material, it's not always gonna be good. The only way to learn is for it not to get a laugh, so you can adjust it and come back the next day to see if it's working right. Next time, you might get a different laugh. You're constantly rebuilding.
People don't want to hear about me having leather walls or gold toilets.
I was probably tall as a child, but I just stopped growing.
I can't cook, but I can make a turkey and cheese sandwich like nobody else.