I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!
Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.
When you're in love, love makes you do crazy things, and can take you down a whirlwind of a road.
I don't want enemies. I want friends, and I want them in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and loving whoever they want to.
I don't like to hear woman argue...it makes my balls itch.
The racehorses assemble at the starting barrier in all the finery of a mediaeval pageant, the jockeys in silks like figures from a Tarot pack, the bookies in leather and tweeds standing beside their boards each confident that the future has been controlled.