Hey Atticus, do me a quick favour before we go? its easy. Sure. What is it? Hold Granuailes staff for just a minute. You know, rest it on the ground so that its like a walking stick or something and the top of it is near your right cheek. Granuaile and I traded weapons to humor him and I stood as instructed. Thats perfect! Now say this like Sir Ian McKellen I am Atticus the White, and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.
Kevin HearneBut now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.
Kevin HearneOh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!โ I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring at me. โWhat?โ I asked. Leif shook a finger and said in a low, menacing tone, โIf you tell me I have to talk like an illiterate halfwit to fit into this society, I will punch you.โ โAnd Iโll pull out your goatee,โ Gunnar added. โLolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk,โ I explained to them. โU doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.
Kevin HearneI've often been flabbergasted by modern pharmaceutical ads on television. The list of side effects for some maladies often sound worse than the condition they're supposed to treat. Once I even heard "heart failure" listed as a side effect, and I wondered how that happened. Heart failure sounds like a pretty major event to me, and if you're willing to risk heart failure in order to avoid the mild discomfort of some other condition, then may the gods shield you from harm, since you're obviously seeking it out.
Kevin HearneBrighidโs eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morriganโs red flashes. Maybe I should try to figure out how to make my eyes flash green so I could freak out the baristas at Starbucks. โNo, you foolish mortal,โ Iโd say as my eyes glowed, โI ordered a nonfat latte.
Kevin Hearne