Life's a roller coaster. Best damn ride in the park. You don't close your eyes, hold on and wait for it to be over, babe. You keep your eyes open, lift your hands straight up in the air and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

I don’t intend to use beer as a crutch and drink until I pass out. So advice, keep an eye on that so you can get in there and get yourself drunk sex before it turns unpretty and drunk sex ends with me puking and / or passing out during the act.

Hate no one, for hate is a starving beast who has just found its prey.

I prefer your smiles and laughter, wife, but there are far worse things than your tears wetting my skin.

I'm not going to work in a place where I can't eat donuts.

Hate is not a feeling toward another, but a feeling of defeat by another.

You got one life, never use it just to breathe.