I prefer your smiles and laughter, wife, but there are far worse things than your tears wetting my skin.

Even though I felt like crying, I did my very best to smile.

Rule Number One in the India Savage Life Code: When in doubt or possible trouble, lie.

Seriously. Who needed a real lover when you had a handsome, affectionate man who adored you, put a beautiful house over your head, gave you a great job, lavished you with fabulous clothes, shoes, purses and jewelry and would never break your heart?

Your grandmother used to say that you were two souls separated in heaven. She mainly meant you were both trouble and deserved each other.

Then she declared loudly, "Smoke break!" and everyone's eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.

She's wearin' heels, boy, but she's five foot seven, you got five inches and at least a hundred pounds on her," Max replied and I figured he was being a might bit generous with the weight but I wasn't going to correct him, mostly because he wasn't done talking. "And, lastly, she's a woman. You don't ever strike a woman in anger.