Forgiveness is beautiful and it feels good when someone gives that gift to you. But it's one thing for someone you wronged to forgive you. It was another to forgive yourself.

I don’t intend to use beer as a crutch and drink until I pass out. So advice, keep an eye on that so you can get in there and get yourself drunk sex before it turns unpretty and drunk sex ends with me puking and / or passing out during the act.

Your grandmother used to say that you were two souls separated in heaven. She mainly meant you were both trouble and deserved each other.

Life's a roller coaster. Best damn ride in the park. You don't close your eyes, hold on and wait for it to be over, babe. You keep your eyes open, lift your hands straight up in the air and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

Seriously, I don’t care if feminists hunt me down and burn me at the stake, that man crooked his finger at me, I’d follow him into a bank and rob it at his side.

Then she declared loudly, "Smoke break!" and everyone's eyes came to us, some of them shocked seeing as these days you could light up a doobie and no one would blink but if you lit up a smoke, you courted being publicly stoned to death.

She's wearin' heels, boy, but she's five foot seven, you got five inches and at least a hundred pounds on her," Max replied and I figured he was being a might bit generous with the weight but I wasn't going to correct him, mostly because he wasn't done talking. "And, lastly, she's a woman. You don't ever strike a woman in anger.