The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers.

I think William Shakespeare was the wisest human being I ever heard of. To be perfectly frank, though, that's not saying much. We are impossibly conceited animals, and actually dumb as heck. Ask any teacher. You don't even have to ask a teacher. Ask anybody. Dogs and cats are smarter than we are.

Also, I think that, you know, it's tribal behavior. I don't think that Pat Robertson, for instance, doubts that we evolved. He is simply representing a tribe.

What good is a planet called Earth, after all, if you own no land?

The little girls were wearing black party dresses and black party shoes, so strangers would know at once how nice they were.

I've been living alone for so long, everything about me’s private. I’m surprised anyone’s able to understand a word I say.

He is in a constant state of stage fright, he says, because he never knows what part of his life he is going to have to act in next