Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

What a bummer it is to be a human being.

Truth can be really powerful stuff if you're not expecting it.

Seems like the only kind of job an American can get these days is committing suicide in some way.

If what Billy Pilgrim learned from the Tralfamadorians is true, that we will all live forever, no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be, I am not overjoyed. Still--if I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

Live by the harmless untruths that make you brave and kind and healthy and happy.