The library is full of stories of supposed triumphs which makes me very suspicious of it. It's misleading for people to read about great successes, since even for middle-class and upper-class white people, in my experience, failure is the norm.

He couldn't tell the difference between one politician and another. They were all formlessly enthusiastic chimpanzees to him.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

I realize that some of you may have come in hopes of hearing tips on how to become a professional writer. I say to you, "If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

Comedians and jazz musicians have been more comforting and enlightening to me than preachers or politicians or philosophers or poets or painters or novelists of my time. Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.

Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead.