I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.

Dwayne's bad chemicals made him take a loaded thirty-eight caliber revolver from under his pillow and stick it in his mouth. This was a tool whose only purpose was to make holes in human beings.

Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

I think, therefore I am, therefore I am photographable.

The highest treason in the USA is to say Americans are not loved, no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing there.

The umpire had comical news. The congregation had been theoretically spotted from the air by a theoretical enemy. They were all theoretically dead now. The theoretical corpses laughed and ate a hearty noontime meal.

I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love I've ever had, the only love I ever will have