All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, "Please - a little less love, and a little more common decency."

It is just an illusion here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone, it is gone forever.

All this happened, more or less.

But there’s a reason we recognize Hamlet as a masterpiece: it’s that Shakespeare told us the truth, and people so rarely tell us the truth in this rise and fall here [indicates blackboard]. The truth is, we know so little about life, we don’t really know what the good news is and what the bad news is.

There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Nowadays, of course, just about our only solvent industry is the merchandising of death, bankrolled by our grandchildren.