He was seemingly born not only with a gift for language, but with a particularly nasty clock which makes him go crazy every three years or so.

Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.

Now, the engineers and managers believe with all their hearts the glorious things their forebears hired people to say about them. Yesterday's snow job becomes today's sermon.

What the Gospels actually said was: don't kill anyone until you are absolutely sure they aren't well connected.

A great swindle of our time is the assumption that science has made religion obsolete. All science has damaged is the story of Adam and Eve and the story of Jonah and the Whale. Everything else holds up pretty well, particularly lessons about fairness and gentleness. People who find those lessons irrelevant in the twentieth century are simply using science as an excuse for greed and harshness. Science has nothing to do with it, friends.

You know, I think the main purpose of the Army, Navy, and Marine Corps is to get poor Americans into clean, pressed, unpatched clothes, so rich Americans can stand to look at them.

History is merely a list of surprises... It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.