Nietzsche had a little one-liner on how to choose a wife. He said, ''Are you willing to have a conversation with this woman for the next forty years?'' That's how to pick a wife.

Some persons seem to like you, and others seem to hate you, and you must wonder why. They are simply liking machines and hating machines.

The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.

And we all vied, in saving face, to be the greatest student of human nature, the person with the quickest sense of humor.

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

I was taught in the sixth grade that we had a standing army of just over a hundred thousand men and that the generals had nothing to say about what was done in Washington. I was taught to be proud of that and to pity Europe for having more than a million men under arms and spending all their money on airplanes and tanks. I simply never unlearned junior civics. I still believe in it. I got a very good grade.

One of [ways being lucky] was to go to school during the Great Depression because teaching became a plum job.