All this happened, more or less.

I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.

Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

Historians in the future, in my opinion, will congratulate us on very little other than our clowning and our jazz.

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.

Sometimes I wonder about the Creator of the Universe.