Thanks to their decreased brainpower, people aren't diverted from the main business of life by the hobgoblins of opinion anymore.

You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

Praise or damn as you please, but do so rather flatly, pragmatically, with cunning attention to annoying or gratifying details. Be yourself. Be unique. Be a good editor. The Universe needs more good editors, God knows.

The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.

Be fruitful, and multiply.

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.